Amina’s Voice

“What are you guys talking about?” she asks.

I wait for Soojin to answer, expecting her to say something to send Emily scurrying. Even though the cat gets my tongue when either Emily or Julie come prowling, Soojin never has any problem telling them exactly what she thinks.

But Soojin just says, “I’m thinking of new names for myself.»

“New names? That’s weird. Why?” Emily starts a stream of questions. And as much as I want Emily to leave, I want to hear the answers.

“It’s not weird at all, actually. My family and I are becoming citizens soon, and I’m going to change my name.

“Wait. So that means you’re not even American?” Emily sounds offended.

“What?” I ask. There is no way I heard Soojin right. “Change your name? What for?”

Soojin smooths her hair, sips some fizzy juice, and takes a deep breath.

“We moved from Korea when I was four, and we aren’t American citizens yet. But we are about to be, and I’m going to change my name. Ljust haven’t picked one yet.”

“Oh, I have the perfect name for you,” Emily volunteers. She plops down her tray on the table and smiles like she is about to spill a juicy secret.

“Fiona,” she says.

“Fiona?” I snort. “As in the green ogre girl from the Shrek movies?”

“No. Fiona, as in my uncle’s Scottish girlfriend. She’s totally pretty.” I flash Soojin a look, but she doesn’t notice. Instead, she actually seems to be pondering the name as if it’s a possibility. An ogre name! Suggested by Emily!

And then Emily suddenly starts to shove herself into the space next to me. I don’t move at first. But when she’s nearly in my lap and Soojin still doesn’t say anything, I scoot over to make just enough room for her. Then I lean across the table and stare hard at Soojin.

Why is Emily sitting with us?

Ever since before Soojin moved to Greendale from New York in third grade, Emily has worked extremely hard to be Julie’s best friend. Mama would say Emily was Julie’s chamchee, which means “spoon” in Urdu. That doesn’t make a lot of sense, except that it also means “suck-up.” And Emily has always sucked up to Julie, even if that means laughing really hard at her dumb jokes or chiming in when she puts everyone else down. And by everyone else, I mean mostly Soon and me.

“Fi-oh-na,” Soojin repeats. “That’s kind of nice.”

“Do you like it?” Emily asks me.

“Not-um-I don’t know,” I stammer. “Do you seriously think she looks like a Fiona?”

“Duh. She can look like anybody she wants, can’t she?” Emily turns back to Soojin.

My face grows hot.

“Don’t you like being Soojin?” I ask my best friend in a low voice, leaning across the table to make it harder for Emily to hear. “You’ve been Soojin your whole life. Aren’t you used to it?” I want to add that we had always been the only kids in elementary school with names that everyone stumbled over. That is, until Olayinka came along in fifth grade. It’s always been one of our “things.”

“Really, Amina? I thought you, at least, would understand what it’s like to have people mess up your name every single day.” Soojin lets out her sigh again. And this time it feels like I deserve it, even though I don’t know why.