Mustaches For Maddie

A Pink Mustache

and Ninja Training

 

Fact:  mustaches are hilarious.  Which is why I collect them.

Everything is funnier with a mustache.

At least that’s what I hoped.  I had a plan, but it was risky

I overheard Cassie telling Sailor that they were going to

talk about the school play at recess.  I needed to be in on that

conversation.  After all, it might start off my amazing career as

a comic.  Or an actress.  Or a comedic actress.

Deep breath.

They might think I was a complete weirdo.  Or they might

think I was hilarious and let me in on all their plans.

I reached into my pocket and looked down at my choices.

The green one?  Brown?

Nuh-uh.

Pink?  Yeah.  Pink, for sure.

Before I could change my mind, I peeled off the thin sheet

of paper on the back and slapped the pink strip onto my upper

lip.

Sailor happened to glance over at me through her red curls

as we walked down the school hallway toward the big doors.

Maybe my movement caught her attention.  She did a double

take.  This was it.  I wiggled my eyebrows for effect, but on the

inside I was holding my breath.

Please laugh. Please laugh.

Sailor’s eyes widened and then a giggle escaped.  The giggle grew into a full-on laugh, which made her curly hair bounce.  I broke out into a celebration dance that started out as a little shaky-shaky of happiness and ended in me doing the worm down the hall.

Okay. I didn’t actually dance.  Part of me wanted to, but

the rest of me couldn’t quite do it in the hall with everyone

watching.  Maybe if it was just Sailor, but she wasn’t the one I

was worried about.

Plus, the worm is really hard.

Hannah looked back too.  She didn’t laugh enough to show her braces, but her cheeks bobbed.  Then Sailor almost snorted.  If she had, maybe I really would have danced.

“Oh, hilarious,” Yasmin said, quickly reaching into her

pocket and pulling out her phone.  Was she going to take my

picture?  No one had ever taken a picture of me at school be-

fore.  Well, not counting class pictures.  I smiled and gave

Yasmin a thumbs-up while she clicked the pic.  I hoped it

looked cute.  But she probably didn’t have any other photos of

a short, twelve-year-old girl with sandy-blonde hair wearing

the most beautiful pink mustache a quarter could buy.

I also had a thick green mustache and a curly brown one,

but they were still in my pocket.  Like I said, everything is

funnier with a mustache.  For example, think of a pig.  They’re

cute and funny with their piggy snouts and curly pink tails.

Now imagine one with a mustache.  yep. Funnier.  Or think of

a woman in a fancy dress singing opera.  Think of your

baby brother…with a mustache.

I almost snorted just thinking about it.  But laughing at my

own jokes wasn’t the best idea, especially jokes I didn’t say out

loud.

Three of the girls liked my mustache, but I still wanted to

win one more girl over.  The hardest to impress.

Cassie turned to find out why everyone was laughing and

taking pictures.  She had  been talking to Sarah at the front of the group.  Cassie is like the queen of the sixth grade.  Well, the queen, the president, the fashionista, winner of the People’s Choice Award—pretty much everything important.  It isn’t of-

ficial or anything, but everyone knows it.

……….read more to find out what happens next.