Simon B. Rhymin’

IT’S SIMON BARNES HERE. BUT EVERY–
body calls me the Notorious D.O.G., because I might be little but I’ve got a loud bark. Okay, not true. No one calls me the Notorious D.O.G. yet. But they might one day when I’m a famous Chicago rapper like Kanye West or Chance the Rapper. Everybody from the Chi knows about them. For now, I’m stuck with the nickname Rhymin’ Simon, which my brother DeShawn gave me when I was five because I learned to rhyme and went kind of crazy with it. Not too long after, I did my first remix to the itsy bitsy spider song and my rhymes were extra basic.

THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER WAS LITTLE LIKE ME, BUT HE COULD MAKE A WEB AS BIG AS
A TREE,
CLIMB TO THE TOP AND BE SO FREE,
CUZ THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER WAS LITTLE
LIKE ME!
Those rhymes were cool back then, but, uh, I’m ready for something a little more tough, especially now that I’m eleven. The Notorious D.O.G. is something I’m trying out. It feels more like the older me.
I spent the whole weekend getting ready for fifth grade at Booker T. Washington Elementary School, where, this year, my class will be the oldest in the whole school. The first day is tomorrow, and I don’t really feel ready for all this. On TV commercials, they show kids cheesin’ real hard, happy to buy school supplies and new pairs of jeans. But don’t they know that school means sitting still for hours and hours while the teacher is just talking at you about boring stuff, saying goodbye to playing Fortnite, and having to give up watching weird videos on YouTube? Goodbye to heating up pizza rolls whenever I feel like it and getting blue snow cones with DeShawn from the neighborhood ice cream truck, when he feels like splitting his time between me and his high school homies.
My mom is trying to give me a pep talk while we shop for some new clothes at Target. I usually wear hand-me-downs from my three older brothers, but my dad says Every rising middle schooler deserves some fresh threads for school. So, while I’m in a tiny red changing room putting on pairs of cargo pants among my big ol’ pile of graphic tees and joggers, Mom tries to boost me up with her mom-knows-best motivational speech.