Stuntboy, in the Meantime

How Stuntboy became Stuntboy (and a thing about a chair.)

Roll credits. Cue theme music.

No, no, start with the handclaps, then the foot stomps. Stomp LOUDER! LOUDER! Now bring in the saxophone. Now, the song. And a one, and a two, and…

WeLLLlllLcoMe to StuntboyYYyy in the MeaNNnnNntime! Introducing the one and only…

This is STUNTBOY. This guy, right here. HIM.

You can’t tell just by looking at him, but he’s the greatest superhero you’ve never heard of. And the reason you’ve never heard of him is because his superpower is making sure all the other superheroes stay super. And safe. Super safe. And he does it all on the hush. That’s right–it’s a secret. A secret secret. But now, because of my big mouth, you know. So if you see him, don’t call him Stuntboy. At least not when his mom, or his dad, or his granny, or any other heroes are around. Because they only know him by his secret identity. By his household name. His human name. But I clearly can’t keep secrets (or secret secrets), so I might as well tell you that name, too, which happens to be the best name that a superhero can have–Portico Reeves.

But in order to understand how he became the greatest superhero you’ve never heard of, you first have to know where it all started–in a castle.

Portico Reeves lives on the biggest house on the block. The biggest house in the whole wide neighborhood. Maybe the biggest house in the whole wide city. Don’t know if you would consider it a castle or nothin’ fancy like that, but to Portico, it sure seems like one. A giant castle of rectangles made from the glassiest glass and the brickiest bricks on earth.

Okay, so some people call where Portico lives an apartment building–Skylight Gardens. And that’s fine, too. No matter what it’s called, Portico feels lucky to live there. And why wouldn’t he? Living in an apartment building is the best. It’s like living in a television where every door is a new TV show.

And Portico knows all the characters.