When I Was Eight

The nun constantly gave me extra chores, “as part of my education,” she said. But though my muscles ached from the hard work, and I could barely keep my eyes open, she could not wear out my determination.

I used every task as an opportunity to learn new words. I studied each letter of the alphabet before wiping it from the board. I looked at the labels on cleaning supplies and sounded out the words. I even studied the words beneath pictures in the hall.

These things improved my reading, but I longed to read an actual book–my book.

One evening, I hurried through my supper of cabbage soup, planning a hasty escape. I couldn’t wait anymore. I dashed into the hall, but the nun was waiting for me.

“Not so fast Margaret, There are pots to be scrubbed,” she said in a threatening tone, and marched me to the kitchen.

With my arms in scalding water up to my elbows I couldn’t hold back my frustration. “I could be reading,”        I muttered.

“What?” the nun demanded, her shoes creaking as she crossed the kitchen. She pinned me against the sink. Slowly, a smile spread across her thin lips. “Fetch me a cabbage from the basement,” she ordered.

I’d heard stories of children who disappeared down in that dark cavern.

I descended each step deliberately, hiding my fear. My hands quickly found a cabbage in the shadows and I scurried up the stairs. But she slammed the door, shutting out all light.

I pulled the handle. It was locked. A scream built in my chest, but I held it in. I closed my eyes, pulled up my stockings, and breathed deeply, until I could feel my father’s presence. He wrapped his arms around me in the darkness and I spelled out my Inuit name to him, whispering, O-L-E-M-A-U-N. His proud smile made me stronger, so I worked through the name of my distant home, B-A-N-K-S – I-S-L-A-N-D.

I spelled many things from home and was starting on the title of my book–A-L-I– when the door opened. I squeezed past the nun and returned to the sink. Her angry black eyes raised goose bumps on the back of my shaved neck, but she could not make me cry.